Revision Strategy
My overall goal in this paper revision is to make my argument flow and really wow my audience to my side. Many of the comments I have been seeing from my paper were that I need to work on connecting my ideas together to get a better flow. What I need to work on first however is splitting up my quotes so that they can be examined better. I have too many block quotes currently, and as Suki commented I might be better off by cutting them apart to analyze line by line specifically. Then I want to include more evidence on the actual brain biological and psychological effects such as classical conditioning. I said I was going to talk about the psychological effects of distraction, multitasking, and lack of attention, yet I barely did in my paper and I hope to change that in the next revision. I want to include an overarching theme of separation as Professor Emerson suggests, to give my whole paper a general theme to go on that I already have but bring it more present by organizing it that way and explicitly talking about it. After doing all those revisions I will finally end with the local revisions changing grammar, sentence structure, and spelling mistakes.
